The "Family Friendly" Myth Explodes: Theaters Turn into War Zones
If you thought the new Wicked movie was going to be a whimsical, candy-colored trip down the Yellow Brick Road for your toddlers, you are dead wrong. The highly anticipated blockbuster has officially landed, but instead of applause, theaters across the country are filled with the sounds of terrified children, screaming babies, and furious adults demanding refunds. The discourse has shifted from Oscar buzz to a full-blown culture war over theater etiquette and "deceptive" marketing that has led parents to drag their 5-year-olds to a film that is reportedly scarring them for life.
Social media is currently a bloodbath of complaints from cinephiles who had their Wicked experience ruined by what they are calling "negligent parenting." Reports are flooding in of screenings descending into chaos as young children, unable to handle the 2.5-hour runtime and the darker themes, spiral into meltdowns. One anonymous user on a public forum unleashed a scorched-earth PSA that has gone viral, begging parents to leave the kids at home.
“Yesterday, we sat through a 2.5 hour movie with kids behind us repeatedly yelling things like ‘I’M SCARED!’ and ‘THAT’S A WITCH!’ the entire time,” the furious moviegoer wrote. This isn't just a few giggles; it’s a disruption that is ruining the cinematic event of the year for paying customers. The user, who identified as a mom herself, slammed the "entitled" parents who refuse to acknowledge that their toddlers aren't ready for a feature-length musical drama.
If your child can’t stay quiet for even 10 minutes, please wait until it’s streaming. It’s not fun for anyone- not the kid, not the parents, and not the people who paid to enjoy the movie.
The backlash is real. Fans who have waited months—or years—to see Elphaba defy gravity are instead listening to a chorus of crying children who are terrified of the green woman. It raises a massive question for Universal Pictures: Did the marketing mislead parents into thinking this was a cartoon?
The "Demonic" Allegations: Mom Claims Movie Casts "Legit Spells"
While some parents are worried about the runtime, others are worried about their souls. In a bizarre twist that has taken the internet by storm, influencer Sara Burnett has gone viral for a scathing, conspiratorial review of the film that accuses Hollywood of practicing witchcraft on the audience. Yes, you read that correctly. Burnett claims she walked out of the theater not because of boredom, but because her "mom gut" told her the movie was casting "legit spells" over her family.
Burnett took to Instagram to blast the production, claiming that the gibberish incantations used by the characters weren't just special effects—they were dangerous, purposeful magic. “I have a feeling that the spells cast in this movie weren’t just some made up words.. they had purpose in them!” she wrote in a post that has been shared thousands of times. This "Satanic Panic" revival has divided the internet, with some mocking her paranoia and others rallying behind the idea that Hollywood is pushing a dark agenda.
According to Burnett, the vibe in the theater was so sinister that her children looked at her with "big eyes" and felt uncomfortable. She cited the Bible, warning her followers to "stay far away" from a film that glorifies witchcraft. While Wicked is literally about a witch, Burnett seems convinced that the fourth wall was broken and actual occult rituals were being performed on unsuspecting families in the AMC cineplex.
I am not sitting in a movie that is casting legit spells over me and my family… The mom gut knew it was time to walk out.
The Scandalous "Sex Scene" That Has Parents Covering Eyes
It’s not just the magic that has parents clutching their pearls; it’s the heat. Burnett and other conservative critics are melting down over what they describe as an inappropriate and "sexual" subplot between Elphaba (played by Cynthia Erivo) and Fiyero (played by Jonathan Bailey). The scene in question involves the number "As Long as You’re Mine," a romantic duet that takes place in a dimly lit forest.
Burnett described it as a scene where “men are sexually taking off women’s clothing and music that is talking about them laying in bed together.” While the movie is rated PG, this specific sequence features Elphaba in a black lacy outfit—a stark departure from her usual witchy garb—and implies that the two characters engage in sexual intercourse off-screen. They are seen lying together afterward, a visual shorthand that adults understand, but one that some parents feel has no place in a movie marketed with dolls and Lego sets.
The "implied sex" has become a lightning rod for controversy. Parents who expected a chaste, Disney-fied romance are reportedly shocked by the sensuality of the number. The sight of the Wicked Witch of the West getting intimate in lace has shattered the childhood illusions of many, leading to awkward car rides home where parents have to explain what exactly Elphaba and Fiyero were doing in the woods.
"That's A Witch!": The Toddler Terror Factor
Beyond the spiritual warfare and the romance, the movie is simply terrifying for the under-6 crowd. The anonymous Facebook complaint highlighted a key issue: kids are scared. The makeup, the visual effects, and the imposing presence of the characters are triggering primal fears in toddlers who were expecting Paw Patrol levels of conflict.
“It’s definitely not meant for a young toddler to sit still for… Beautiful movie though,” one commenter noted, trying to be diplomatic. But the reality is harsh. The film deals with fascism, discrimination, and betrayal. It’s dark. Having a 3-year-old scream “THAT’S A WITCH!” repeatedly is funny in retrospect, but a nightmare when you are trying to hear the nuances of "Defying Gravity."
The disconnect between the merchandise (cute dolls, pink and green merch) and the actual film content is causing a massive headache for parents. They bought the toy, so they bought the ticket, only to realize that the product is a sophisticated political drama wrapped in fantasy, not a colorful babysitter for two hours.
Everyone knows Parents are out with kids and you have a chance of running into some who scream, throw tantrums and cry. Just part of going out in PUBLIC.
Experts Clap Back: "Not A Great Choice" for Kids
Amidst the screaming matches in the comments section, actual experts are stepping in to say, "We told you so." Betsy Bozdech, the Editorial Director at Common Sense Media, exclusively told the press that parents need to do their homework before dropping $50 on tickets. The site officially rates Wicked: For Good as suitable for kids 11 and up.
“According to our ratings, I wouldn’t say it’s a great choice for 5- or 6-year-olds either,” Bozdech stated bluntly. This completely validates the complaints of the theatergoers who had their evening ruined by crying kindergarteners. The experts are saying it loud and clear: This is a tween/teen movie, not a toddler movie.
Bozdech urged parents to stop relying on marketing and start looking at the content. “You need to be ready then to manage the impact of those decisions if they don’t work out,” she warned. Translation: If you bring your kid and they scream, that’s on you, not the people around you.
Streaming vs. Cinema: The Battle for Etiquette
The fallout from the Wicked release has reignited the fiercest debate in modern entertainment: Theater Etiquette. The anonymous poster’s plea—“If your child can’t stay quiet for even 10 minutes, please wait until it’s streaming”—has become a rallying cry for childless adults and exhausted parents alike who just want a break.
One commenter backed the original poster up, writing, “Streaming at home gives each one an option to watch or not.” The consensus building online is that the cinema experience is dying because people treat it like their living room. Bringing a child who cannot self-regulate to a 160-minute film is being labeled by many as "selfish behavior."
However, the entitlement goes both ways. Some parents are arguing that because it is a "movie about a witch," they have every right to bring their kids, regardless of the rating or the runtime. It’s a clash of civilizations taking place in the popcorn line.
Cliffhanger: Will The Box Office Bleed?
As the debate rages on, the question remains: Will this controversy hurt the film’s bottom line? Sara Burnett and her followers are calling for a boycott over the "spells" and the "sex," while cinephiles are threatening to stay home to avoid the screaming children. Universal Pictures is caught in the middle of a PR storm they likely didn't anticipate.
Is Wicked too scary for kids, too woke for conservatives, and too noisy for adults? Or is this all just free publicity that will drive curiosity ticket sales? One thing is certain: if you plan on seeing Wicked this weekend, you might want to bring earplugs—not for the music, but for the meltdown happening in the row behind you.
